One of the biggest worries couples have about eloping is this:
“What about our family?”
And I get it. You love your family (the chosen or the blood one), they’re your people, of course you might want them to feel included somehow, but at the same time, you don’t want to lose the intimacy that you’re looking for and which made you decide to elope. The good news? You don’t have to choose one or the other.
There are so many thoughtful ways to include family while still keeping your day intentional and centered on the two of you.
Some couples invite a small group—usually around 5 to 10 people—to join for part of the day. This could be just the ceremony, followed by hugs, photos, and maybe a relaxed meal together. You still get your quiet moments, but you also get to share a piece of the experience.
Others choose to keep the elopement just for themselves, and celebrate with family afterward. Think: a cozy dinner, a backyard party, or even a larger reception later on. This way, your wedding day stays intimate, but your loved ones are still part of the story.
You can also include family in more subtle, meaningful ways:
- Reading letters from them during your day
- Bringing a small heirloom or keepsake
- Video calling them after your ceremony
- Having them help with something special (like writing advice or blessings)
"One of the only cons we experienced throughout all of it was the familial guilt, which has since completely disappeared. Originally our parents were disappointed (mine more than Pat's), but since they have found out how much their friends / friends' kids have been spending on weddings and have admitted that we were right in eloping."
Reading letters from them during your day
Erin and Josh chose to create their entire ceremony themselves—thoughtfully writing it as if their loved ones were there with them. In a way, they became both the celebrants and the ones being celebrated, shaping every word to reflect their story. They also included letters written by their parents, which they read during the ceremony. It added such a deep, personal layer to the moment—one that made everything feel even more connected and meaningful. Unsurprisingly, it was incredibly emotional. Not just because of the words, but because of the intention behind them.
Bringing a small heirloom or keepsake
Again, eloping doesn’t mean leaving your family behind—it simply means including them in a more personal, intentional way.
One of the most meaningful ways to do this is by bringing a small heirloom or keepsake with you. Something that carries a story, a memory, or a connection to the people who matter most. It could be a piece of jewelry passed down through generations, a watch, a ring, or even a small photo tucked into your bouquet or kept in your pocket. Or maybe photos of them, like Annastasia and Jessie did for their Tuscan elopement.
These details might seem small, but they carry so much emotional weight. In a day that is already deeply intimate, having something physical that represents your family can create a quiet sense of closeness—even if they’re far away. It’s a way of honoring your roots while stepping into this new chapter together.
And often, these are the details that become even more meaningful over time. When you look back at your photos or think about your day, you’ll remember not just where you were—but who you carried with you.
Video calling them before/after your ceremony
Including your loved ones doesn’t have to mean having them physically there. A quick video call, whether before or after your ceremony, can be such a beautiful way to share the moment. It keeps your elopement intimate and intentional, while still allowing the people closest to you to feel part of your day.
Lucy called her sister while getting ready, giving her a little glimpse of the outfit and sharing those pre-ceremony emotions in real time. It was simple, spontaneous, and incredibly meaningful.
Demi and Rob chose a different moment—right after their official ceremony in the Red Room at Campidoglio, they called their parents to share the news, show off the rings, still glowing from everything they had just experienced. You could feel the joy through the screen.
It’s not about physical presence—it’s about emotional connection.
And honestly? When couples explain their decision from the heart, most families come around. Especially when they see how much thought and intention went into it.
Having this conversation with thems is not always easy. There’s a way to honor your family and stay true to yourselves—and you deserve both. As they always say: if they love you, they’ll let you do your thing and they will understand your choice. Most importantly, they’ll respect it. At the end of the day, your elopement doesn’t have to exclude anyone. It just invites them in… differently.
"I honestly don’t think there are any real cons to having an elopement. If anything, the only one might be that your closest family isn’t there to witness the moment in person. But even that can turn into something special, it gives you the perfect excuse to get everyone together later, watch the photos and video together, and relive the moment as a family. In a way, you get to experience it twice."
